Dealing with #grief and #loss after a death
Everybody experiences grief, or loss, in their own way. It is an entirely subjective experience, and dependent on many factors.
It represents a broad range of reactions and seems to be an essential part of the continuity of our lives.
There are a number of theories which attempt to describe the process of coming to terms with someone’s death, such as the familiar ‘Kubler-Ross’ model which describes a response involving Progressive stages in coming to terms with someone dying:
Whilst some recover relatively quickly, others take a while – and for some, it seems that the emotional pain and distress caused by the death of a loved one or close family member will never go away.
Regardless of theoretical models, what is for sure, is that grief is an unpleasant experience and may affect you over a lengthy period of time. Though of course, it must be remembered that death is a natural part of our lives, and thus the general outcome of the grieving process is to continue to live with fulfilment once we have adjusted to life without the presence of the person we have lost.
For some though, emotional attachment, the nature of the death or dying process can augment the sense of loss, or loss of control, creating a sense of shock, helplessness, emotional numbness, anger, frustration, and a whole host of other feelings and emotions which negatively impact on one’s life and well-being – according to the UK National Health Service, there are a number of key factors that indicate you should seek help:
- You don’t feel able to cope with overwhelming emotions or daily life
- The intense emotions aren’t subsiding
- You’re not sleeping normally
- You have symptoms of depression or anxiety
- Your relationships are suffering
- You’re having sexual problems
- You’re becoming accident-prone.
Whilst such lists can be helpful to doctors in assessment processes, they are not exhaustive of the whole human experience and will not adequately explain the differences between the grief experiences of different people.
It’s safe to say, from a person-centred point of view, that you will know when you are becoming overwhelmed, because you are the expert in your own experience.
If you do feel that you are struggling to cope, and your psychological well-being is being adversely affected to the point you are in distress or crisis, and if you feel you need help, you can contact us to tell us about it and get support.
You can have confidence that our TIR facilitators can effectively support you – we aren’t like normal counsellors, therapists or psychiatrists. You can learn more about how our unique person-centred approach to mental health is different by clicking here
Please Contact us to arrange a consultation and discuss your needs.